


Discovery and Lack of Conservation

by Diary



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Affair Era Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Angst, Bechdel Test Fail, Bisexual Robert Sugden, Bottle Episode Fic, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Gay Character, Conversations, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Infidelity, Insecurity, Introspection, M/M, POV Bisexual Character, POV Male Character, POV Robert Sugden, Romance, Scars, Self-Reflection, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 03:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7960642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A likely AU look at how Robert discovering Aaron's scars for the first time might have gone. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discovery and Lack of Conservation

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Emmerdale.

Listening to the shower, Robert hesitates outside the bathroom door.

Things are going well, and he knows he should just leave it.

Things aren’t going well, if he’s inwardly honest, and he should do more than just leave it.

Aaron refuses to take his shirt off, and it’s easy to tell himself this is why he’s so tempted to go inside and slip into the shower, despite knowing there’s a decent chance Aaron will be irritated, at best, and angry, at worse.

The first time they were together, Aaron asked if Chrissie knew about Robert’s bisexuality, and part of Robert regrets insisting he was straight. He’ll never mislabel himself as gay and relegate Chrissie and his past girlfriends and the relationship he has and the ones he's had to a case of him not knowing what he really wanted or being confused or, worse, actively toying with their feelings. He liked them all, loved some of them, and loves Chrissie.

One-night stands in the past, they were mostly convenient, but he’s becoming increasingly unable to deny the fact labelling himself as straight is relegating Aaron and what they’re doing to one of the above.

In something he’ll never admit aloud, the problem is, he might not love Chrissie exactly the way he assumed or, even worse, maybe he had but the feelings themselves changed. He thought he’d genuinely wanted to be husband and wife, raise Lachlan together, and even have a baby of their own. He’d proposed, because, he’d _known_ he’d wanted all of this, and he’d been willing to deal with Lawrence’s suspicion and thinly-veiled accusations of gold-digging.

Now, there are times he finds himself desperately wanting to be proper boyfriends with Aaron. Seeing him with his shirt off and being able to slip into the shower instead of standing outside debating himself are just currently at the top. Sleeping next to him every night, having to deal with Chas and Paddy and likely other members of the Dingle family and those close to it, making breakfast, and talking and listening about silly things that popped in their heads during the morning when they have lunch, these thoughts swirl in his head and dreams.       

A decent person would gently break up with Chrissie, or rather, this is the most decent action he could (but won’t) take. A decent person never would have cheated on his fiancée in the first place.

He’s long made peace with the fact he’ll never be a decent person.

Opening the door, he goes inside and quickly slips his clothes off.

“Hey,” he says, “I’m coming in.”

“What- Robert, no-”

He’s in before Aaron can stop him or get out, and as Aaron’s grabbing for a towel, he automatically reaches out, grabs Aaron’s wrists, and lowers the arms.

There are scars, some thin and pale, some angry-red and raised, on Aaron’s chest and stomach.

Letting go of the wrists, he mutters, “Tell me if it hurts,” and starts carefully tracing the scars.

Some, if he felt them without seeing them, he wouldn’t be able to tell he was feeling a scar, but some of them are undeniable underneath his fingertips.

“They don’t concern you,” Aaron huffs.

“Okay,” he agrees. “I wasn’t asking anything.”

When he starts to lean down to kiss and lick at them, Aaron’s palm meets his forehead. “No. Don’t.”

“Alright.” Bringing his hands to Aaron’s cheeks, Robert kisses him.

Tentatively, Aaron returns it.

When they break apart, he finds Aaron studying him with clear, defensive suspicion.

Knowing he deserves it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“Does- does this change things?”

“Are you going to start taking your shirt off so we can have proper shags? Or are you going to insist on keeping it on _and_ ban me from conserving water with you? If it’s the latter, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself when my grumpy letter has the top environmental agencies after you, mate.”

He’s rewarded with a soft laugh and, though still tentative, significantly less guarded eyes.

“Right, if not for you, I’d already be done. And neither of is exactly getting any cleaner, are we? Meaning us wasting water is down to you.”

“Well, if I’m going to be responsible for the next ice age or whatever dangers are going to ultimately result from global warming, I’m not going out without experiencing the good sort of world rocking, first.”

This kiss is longer and deeper, but Aaron pulls away before they get to the parts Robert desperately wants.

“They really don’t bother you?”

He knows he has to be careful how he answers, and he knows there might not be any answer he can give that won’t come out wrong.

“Obviously- you were hurt. Obviously, I don’t like that fact. I wish you hadn’t been. But I’ve always known you were strong, yeah? However you got them, you survived getting them. I’m glad for that. Look,” giving a gentle kiss, he says, “we can worry about getting clean, later. Right, now, why don’t we get out, dry off, and not get dressed? We can go to bed, and I can start learning your body the way you’ve been learning mine.”

There’s a second of hesitation, but exhaling and looking at him with warm, soft eyes, Aaron says, “Yeah, alright.”


End file.
